Serious Goose Slogan Tee

A short-sleeve cotton tee with a goose in a purple witch's hat, printed large across the chest. It wears a Halloween-print neckerchief of little skulls, black cats, coffins and crosses on orange, and it is glaring sideways out of the shirt. Around it: a crescent moon and six bats. Above and beside it, in a spurred serif with a curled S: TODAY I'M A SERIOUS GOOSE. The goose is not serious.

Straight answers

• Fabric: cotton, and that is all the maker will commit to. The spec sheet lists the material as cotton and the construction as knit, then lists the fabric type as "Broadcloth", which is a woven term. Those two cannot both be true of the same shirt. We are not going to invent a percentage, a blend or a GSM to cover the gap - it is a cotton knit tee with slight stretch, and no one has told us how heavy the cloth is.
• The sizing runs small, and the maker says so. Its own fit field reads "Smaller Than Usual", and the chart adds that these are Asian sizes, roughly two to three sizes down from US, AU and EU. If you normally take a US Large, read the centimetres before you choose.
• Measurements, flat, from the maker's chart - bust / body length / sleeve / shoulder in cm: S 88 / 62 / 18 / 36 · M 90 / 63 / 18 / 38 · L 96 / 65 / 18 / 41 · XL 100 / 68 / 19 / 42 · XXL 104 / 70 / 19 / 45 · XXXL 112 / 73 / 19 / 48.
• Two numbers on the maker's printed chart are wrong and we checked every one. Its inch column gives M as 35.0" and XXL as 40.1"; 90cm is 35.4" and 104cm is 40.9". Its own size data file gets both right, so the printed picture is the thing at fault. The centimetres above are the ones to trust. The maker also states measurements are taken by hand and can be out by 1-3cm.
• Nine colours, one print - black, khaki, white, army green, grey, yellow, sky blue, red and pink. The artwork is identical on all nine; on the black and the army green the black outlines of the bats and lettering close up against the cloth, which is what the photographs show.
• Weight: 190g per shirt, as declared by the maker. O-neck collar, regular fit, regular sleeve, no applied decoration beyond the print.
• We cropped the maker's photographs. Every garment shot carried another seller's watermark across the top corner. We cut it off rather than publish someone else's mark, which is why the collar sits close to the top edge of the frame.
• Made in Mainland China. The maker's high-concern chemical declaration reads "none".
• Manufacturer numbers, not ours: 58 sold on the source listing. That is their trading record, not reviews of this store.